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Dec 22

Week 13 – MKE – restart and catch up

Challenges…I need to restart, catch up and persist until I succeed. I need to get back doing everything mentioned in my DMP and most important, make everything a habit, or else I will not reach my goals. Again, most crucial are my sleeping habits. This week I went to be to late every evening.

Usually I don’t have time to read the newspaper. The other day, when I came home after I visited my dear mother at the retirement home, it was around 9 pm. I was very tired, should have gone to bed immediately, but I sat down on the couch and read the newspaper, Svenska Dagbladet, very thoroughly. Then again, when I got to bed it again it was past midnight. But I just had the feeling, that I needed space for myself, at the same time I would really, really, have needed to sleep early. I need to get in sync with the circadian rhythms. I am late with my last service and need to decide on this weeks.

But there is no going back, I badly need to succeed and master my inner demons, or dragons, my OCD, my IBS. I can not go back to, I would not call it a life in quit desperation, but dissatisfaction, not manifesting my greatest talents.

Obviously (?) there is still a craving from my cells for the old peptides; so I need to work harder and/or more effective. Obviously I also should avoid affirming that it is ”hard” to better my sleeping habits. But still, I am really a mistery to myself. I know, everything, would be so much better with better sleeping habits/patterns, as stated in my DMP, go to bed 10 pm, get up 5.30 am four days a week. That would have an astonishing impact on all areas of my life and wellbeing.

So what am I afraid of? Why am I afraid of what I truly am, light?

Finally I got to the garbage room, with several weeks newspapers and bulky waste. That was really a relief, I thought, what am I doing, creating a bad habit?

Now get to bed and then persist, persist and do it now, do it now.

 

3 kommentarer

  1. Angela

    Persist….you will win. Keep starting over, relax and just do it now! You are the greatness you desire!!! Can’t wait to read next week’s post!

  2. lorentaylor

    It’a a dilemma so many of us must come to grips. The fact or fiction underlying ”It’s easy doing 100% of what we know we must. It’s doing 99% that’s really tough. LOL 🙂

    1. Janne

      Could you explain that? 🙂

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